is the cure worse...?

mom looks very sick, i don't think she knows. radiation on a tumor located on her spine, they are afraid it will damage the spinal cord, radiation daily for two weeks takes its toll. eating makes her feel like not eating any more. dad, in a daze, takes over organizing dr. notes, treatments, bills, medicine schedules. i see his concern, but he works hard to hide what he feels. we bring her books on nutrition, we bring her hugs, we bring her prayers. the chemo pill makes her even more nauseous, but how can she tell which is it? radiation, chemo, hormone blocker? she sees a new oncologist, closer to home. i'm afraid chemo would kill her, she doesn't look strong enough. he prescribes meds to help with radiation effects -- sore throat, nausea, fatigue. no more chemo pills. she will take the hormone blocker, perhaps for the rest of her life. we gather for a family portrait, we gather to bring her love, we gather because we are afraid we may not gather again.